


We Need       to Talk

by yalejosie



Series: Atlas Adventures Canon [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 10:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17548331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yalejosie/pseuds/yalejosie
Summary: Shiro and Curtis fight, constellations are named, and Allura is honored





	We Need       to Talk

**Author's Note:**

> So I made this story initially as a chapter for my ongoing Atlas Adventures series, but I am really proud of this and I think it deserves to be posted as an individual one shot. Hope all of you like this, the fight scene was especially fun to write!

When Shiro woke up today, he felt as if he had swallowed lead. He knew down to his bones what today was: the anniversary of  _ her _ death. Even though he felt like staying in bed all day, Shiro knew he had to be there for the crew.  They were on their way to Atlea, and would be at the planet by the end of the day so that the crew could pay their respects to Allura’s monument at the capital. 

 

Shiro got up, and as he clambered down the ladder from his bunk, he noticed Curtis was still asleep.  _ What time is it? _ Shiro looked at his holophone and saw that he had woken up at 4:30, very early even for someone who was known for getting up early.  _ Maybe I should go back to sleep. _ Yet, Shiro made the decision to go to the bridge and make sure that the Atlas hadn’t strayed off course in the middle of the night. He also went to see the stars. Maybe being closer to Allura’s creation would make Shiro feel closer to her. 

 

As Shiro turned to leave the room after getting dressed, he heard a stir.

 

“Shiro? Where are you going?” Curtis whispered, his voice still touched by sleep.

 

“I’m just leaving for the bridge a bit early today. I want to make sure that the ship is still on course. Go back to sleep.” Shiro replied tenderly. 

 

“Alright, I’ll see you for breakfast at the cafeteria?”

 

“Of course. See you soon, Curtis.”

 

With that, Shiro quietly left the room, and Curtis fell into an uneasy sleep. 

  
  


\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Shiro crept through the Atlas and made it to the bridge. The stars were burning brighter than usual. It seemed Allura, in whatever form she was in, was once again trying to brighten up the lives of the people she loved. Shiro felt it appropriate at that moment to say something, anything at all, maybe to Allura, or maybe just to the gently pulsing stars right outside the window. But he couldn't think of anything to say except, “Thank you”. He decided to show his appreciation by standing right by the window, watching galaxies float lazily by.

 

It felt like Shiro had stood in front of the window for hours, just staring at the stars, thinking about Allura. Then, an alarm on his holophone buzzed and pulled Shiro out of his thoughts. ‘Breakfast’ it announced in big bold letters.  _ Shit. _ Apparently Shiro really  _ had _ spent hours on the bridge. Shiro scrambled out of the door, trying to look composed as he dashed to the cafeteria.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Curtis sat alone, looking incredibly uncomfortable. He shifted on the bench, occasionally checking the time on his holophone. It was very strange for Shiro to be late in general, let alone late for the one guaranteed moment they had together each day. 

 

He and Shiro had a ritual, a promise, that no matter how insane a day was going to be, that they would have breakfast together. It seemed that Shiro would be on track to miss it for the very first time, when the man in question ran into the cafeteria and nearly slid onto the bench where Curtis sat. 

 

“Hey Shiro, happy to see you decided to slide in!” Curtis said with a laugh.

 

“Hey Curtis.” Shiro said quickly, as he was still catching his breath.

 

Curtis could tell something was up with Shiro just from looking at him for a moment. The light seemed to have gone out of his eyes, and he seemed deflated. Alarm bells were screaming in Curtis's head. 

 

“Hey Shiro, is something up?” Curtis asked 

 

“No, Curtis, I'm fine.”

 

He was still worried, but Curtis sighed and said, “Okay, but if something  _ is _ going, know you can talk to me.”

 

“I know, thanks.”

 

Curtis and Shiro then sat together and ate breakfast in silence. It was strange, as Shiro usually caught Curtis up on the plans for the day, or Curtis would tell a very bad joke. Yet, it seemed as if Shiro refused to talk today. All attempts to spark a conversation where met with short, one word answers. Curtis desperately wanted to figure out what was up with Shiro, but didn’t feel it was his place to pry. 

 

On the other hand, Shiro felt incredibly guilty for not opening up. He knew that Curtis would be happy to listen, but Shiro didn’t want to make today any harder for Curtis or anyone else than it needed to be. Shiro knew that today he needed to keep his ‘leader face’ on, and hopefully talk to Curtis another, more opportune time. 

 

As soon as the cafeteria started to empty out, Shiro gave Curtis a terse goodbye and briskly made his way to the bridge. Shiro was almost there when he felt a familiar hand land on his shoulder. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Hey, can we talk?” Curtis whispered. 

 

Shiro swung around to see Curtis, who looked deeply concerned. 

 

“Curtis, I can’t right now, I have to go-”

 

“Shiro, you can take a minute so we can talk.”

 

I know what day it is. Everyone on this ship knows.”

 

“I am aware of that, Curtis”

 

“Well then, can we talk about about it? I’m here for you, you know that.”

 

“I know that, Curtis.”

 

Shiro tried to walk alone to the bridge, but Curtis wouldn’t let that happen. He kept up best he could as Shiro strode towards the entrance to the bridge.

 

“You can’t run away from me, Shiro.”

 

Shiro just kept on walking. Curtis sighed. Shiro was shutting him out, which frustrated him immensely. Shiro could hide his true feelings from the crew, but he should’ve known keeping them from Curtis was futile. Shiro should’ve known that Curtis could read him like a book.

 

Curtis’s voice suddenly became intense.

 

“Shiro, I need you to talk to me . You've been acting really off today. If something is wrong, please tell me. I care about you, and I want to be able to help you.”

 

Curtis was met with silence from Shiro, who looked as if he was made of hard ice. Any other time, Curtis would've stopped, would've tried to thaw Shiro out. But right now, he was seeing red towards Shiro for the first time. Curtis exploded. 

 

“Shiro, I am so fed up with you trying to shove your shit down! I don't know if you are trying to ‘burden’ me less or whatever, but all you're doing is keeping me from helping you! You don't have to do it alone all the time, Shiro, I can do it with you! We can do it together!” 

 

Shiro was still frozen. Curtis went in for where it hurt

 

“Why won't you acknowledge I'm in it with you, Shiro? Huh? Are you scared? Scared that you can't always be the hero? Scared that maybe, somehow, you  _ are _ still human? That you’re less than invincible?”

 

Of course, Curtis hadn't noticed that he and Shiro had entered the bridge. He had been too busy trying desperately trying to get  _ anything _ from Shiro. But everyone else had very much noticed the two of them enter. Veronica's jaw had nearly hit the floor, and Iverson was too shocked to bark his usual ‘Watch the insubordination!’. 

 

Curtis was mortified. He looked over at Shiro, who was somehow more frozen than before. Curtis wondered how Shiro was going to respond to this. Shiro responded by asking Veronica for the latest updates on the status of the ship. Shiro responded by getting everything back to a shaky peace. Shiro responded by denying Curtis had said anything at all, or that he even existed. 

 

_ Denial, huh. So that's it. Just denial, goddammit! _ Curtis was somehow even more livid than before, his blood feeling as if it was boiling. He realized that he needed to leave before he said something he  _ really _ couldn't take back, as if he hadn't already. Curtis stormed out of the room, the sliding door slamming behind him. He had a feeling the Atlas had made the door close a bit faster for both his sanity and for the dramatic effect. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

_ As if today could get shittier _ , Shiro thought morosely. Usually he enjoyed piloting the Atlas manually. It felt like piloting Black, in a way. He wasn’t connected to the Atlas in the same way he had been connected to his lion, but there was the familiarity of the controls, and a small connection to the ship through the crystal in his arm. However, all Shiro could think about was Curtis. He had looked so hurt, which concerned Shiro deeply. He just wished that Curtis had understood that he didn’t have the luxury of having time to sort out his feelings. He needed to take care of everyone else before he took care of himself.  _ If Curtis is so concerned about me, then why couldn’t he have realized that I just wanted to be alone? _ Shiro thought bitterly. Before Shiro could entertain any more of his messy thoughts concerning Curtis, the ship’s system notified the crew that they were an hour away from Altea. The ship began to buzz with activity as all the crew members got ready to leave the ship. Shiro remembered that the other paladins would be at the memorial tonight for their annual meetup.  _ I wonder how they’re doing right now _ , Shiro thought as he piloted the Atlas through the Altean atmosphere to the magnificent capital that lay below. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Lance had made the trip from Earth all the way to Altea so he could be here tonight. The familiar Altean constellations Allura had loved so much lit up the skies. Lance sighed and gazed up at her monument. 

 

At the moment, he was waiting for all the other paladins to arrive. The paladins had a tradition that no matter where they were, they would drop everything to be here on the anniversary of Allura’s death. It had been two years now, and even though Allura’s loss was still hard for Lance, he was beginning to feel a bit like his old self again. Shiro had helped him out by getting Keith to offer Lance a job with the Blades. Helping people, piloting ships, and spending time with Keith had really helped. Lance was healing, slowly but surely. 

 

As if his thoughts had called out to the man himself, Shiro seemed to appear out of thin air. It was strange for Shiro, because even if he didn’t like fanfare, it inevitably followed him wherever he went. 

 

“Hey Lance.” Shiro said warmly

 

“Hey Shiro, how are you doing?” Lance replied.

 

“I’m doing well. How about you?”

 

“I’m doing great, actually. I still help out on the farm, but I’m teaching more classes here on Altea, and I’m starting to help ol’ mullet with more of his Blade of Marmora missions.” Lance said excitedly.

 

“Really? That’s great!” 

 

“Thanks. I’m getting better.”

 

“That’s great, Lance.”

 

Lance then blushed a bit and stammered, “Oh god I’m just rambling about myself. How are things going on the Atlas?”

 

“Things are going well. We’ve recruited over a hundred planets already.”

 

“Really, that’s great! Also, I heard that you have a boyfriend now?”

 

“Lance, come on.” Shiro said in his ‘tired dad’ voice.

 

“Don’t get mad at me for wanting to know who swept the Black Paladin off his feet.” Lance said cheekily, his puppy dog eyes just  _ begging _ for details. 

 

Of course, Shiro relented, and “Okay, I’ll tell you his name. It’s Curtis-”

 

“You guys talking about Curtis?”

 

Hunk’s voice had appeared out of nowhere. The Yellow Paladin stood there, watching Lance and Shiro stare awkwardly at each other. 

 

“Nice to see ya Hunk!” Lance replied. He went over and gave Hunk a high five and a hug, then resumed his conversation with Shiro.

 

“So, you said his name is Curtis. What’s he like?” Lance said inquisitively. Shiro had no idea how to respond until Hunk decided to speak for him.

 

‘Oh, you want to know about Curtis? Why didn’t you just ask me? Shiro here isn’t the only one on the Atlas.” Hunk replied, with a little sass. 

 

Before Hunk could say something Shiro would regret hearing, he spoke up and said, “Fine, I’ll tell you about Curtis myself, calm down.”

 

Shiro then went on to tell Lance a bit about Curtis, with Lance eating up every last detail. Shiro was even going to tell Lance about their date at the space mall when Lance asked, “Why isn’t Curtis here with you? Coran said we were allowed to bring dates.”

 

Shiro sighed and was about to answer with a blatant lie when Hunk spoke up and said, “Because he went and pulled a Shiro again.”

 

“Really? Come on, man.” Lance groaned in reply.

 

Shiro grumbled a bit. “Pulling a Shiro”, as it was affectionately called, was when someone was trying to put on a brave face. The Paladins had come up with the term when Shiro had died, and then brought the term back into regular usage after Allura’s death. He usually laughed when it was used, but the term was a bit too on the nose to be humorous today. The three paladins made some more small talk while waiting for the rest of the group to get there. As soon as Pidge, Coran, and Keith arrived, they all headed over to where they would be spending the night together. 

 

Everyone was laughing and telling stories as they walked over, but Lance looked at Shiro for a second and said, “Hey Shiro? Can we talk later?”

 

“Sure Lance, no problem.”

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

The night had been wonderful. This year, everyone had decided to have a picnic under the stars on the hill near Allura’s statue. Of course, Coran had gone above and beyond setting up. He had (somehow) procured one of the largest picnic blankets anyone had ever see, plus a telescope for stargazing. Coran spent the night telling Pidge and Shiro the names and stories of the constellations, while Lance, Keith, and Hunk told stories and played truth or dare. 

 

Shiro didn’t forget his promise to Lance, and when everyone started to get ready to say goodbye, Shiro pulled Lance aside so they could go talk. Of course, they ended up walking to Allura’s statue. 

 

“Shiro, I don’t know how to feel about Allura anymore.” Lance whispered while staring at Allura’s statue. 

 

“I know, Lance. It’s been the hardest for you and Coran by far. She meant so much to you, and you meant so much to her.”

 

“I know. But I’m starting to realize I’m not the only one who was affected by her loss.”

 

“What do you mean, Lance?”

 

“She was family to all of us, not just me. I’m starting to realize that all of the other paladins probably hurt as much as me when she died. Including you, Shiro”

 

Shiro sighed. He had come with Lance with the intention of comforting him. However, like every other thing that had happened that day, this talk was going to go the opposite direction that Shiro wanted it to. 

 

“Shiro, I always knew how hard today must be for you. But I never realized just how much Allura’s death hurt you.”

 

“What do you mean, Lance?”

 

“As soon as Hunk said you ‘pulled a Shiro’, I realized the reason Curtis isn’t here.”

 

“He’s not here because I wanted to just spend the night with you guys. I’m fine Lance, really.”

 

“You and I both know that’s a lie, and I’m sure that Curtis could see straight through that bullshit too. “

 

Shiro and Lance stood in silence for a moment, then Lance continued. 

 

“Besides me and Coran, Allura was closest to you. Before we started dating, you were probably the paladin Allura was closest to. I understand if it’s hard to talk about her. Trust me, I get that more than anyone else Shiro. But, you can’t just hold it in. It’s not healthy, and it’s not fair to the people who love you and want to be there for you. I don’t know what exactly happened between you and Curtis, but he probably got angry because he just wants to be there for you, and you won’t let him.”

 

Lance sighed before continuing.

 

“Look, talk to Curtis, Shiro. The thing you don’t seem to understand is that maybe, just maybe, he’ll get it.”

 

Shiro listened to Lance intently the entire time, and then wearily chuckled and said, “Since when did Loverboy Lance give really good relationship advice?”

 

“I learned from the best, Shiro.”

 

Shiro realized that Lance was right. He had been pushing people away yet again. This time was going to be different, though: this time, Shiro was going to fix this before Curtis walked away. 

 

“Lance, thank you.”

 

“You're welcome Shiro.”

 

Lance looked at Shiro intensely and uttered, “You know, me and Allura weren’t the perfect couple. We had our issues, and we never really had the time to work them out. Now, I’m never going to get that chance. But, you still have one, so don’t mess it up.”

 

“I know what you mean Lance. I promise I won’t mess this up.”

 

As soon as Lance left to go say goodbye, Shiro took out his holophone and texted Curtis.

 

_ Meet me at the memorial. Let’s talk _

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Shiro watched the stars while waiting for Curtis, reciting their newly learned names over and over in his head. Curtis walked up quietly next to Shiro, and just stood and watched the stars with him. 

 

“Beautiful night, huh?” Curtis said.

 

“Hey Curtis.” Shiro murmured.

 

They both stood in silence for a while longer, until Shiro took a deep breath and said, “Curtis, I'm so sorry I didn't talk to you. I didn't want to make your day harder. And… and it's also really hard to talk about this stuff. My gut reaction is to just keep my leader face on, to make sure everyone else is okay before dealing with myself. But that's not fair to you. In the future, I'll try to be more open.”

 

“I understand. I just want to be able to be there for you, Shiro. And I'm sorry for blowing up like that.”

 

“I totally understand why you did”

 

“Doesn't make it right.”

 

Shiro smiled and said, “Why don’t we play some truth or dare?”

 

Curtis smiled. They had played truth or dare on their first date, and since then the game had become a private joke between the two of them. “Okay. Do you want to go first?’ Curtis replied.

 

“No, you should go first.”

 

“Okay, truth or dare?”

 

“Truth.”

 

“How close were you and Allura?”

 

“We were very close… but we drifted as everything got crazier. We drifted when I was gone, but in the beginning, when it was just five paladins, a crazy altean uncle, and her, well, I was probably the closest person to her besides Coran. We… we led together, and we were in it together. We took care of each other, she took care of me.”

Curtis sighed and said, “Okay, now ask me.”

 

“Truth or dare?”

 

“Truth”

 

“How close were  _ you _ to Allura?’

 

“Shiro, that’s an easy question. I didn't know her well, but I thought she was a fantastic leader.”

 

Curtis sighed and said, “Okay, my turn. Truth or dare?”

 

“Truth”

 

“You were there when Allura died. This question, you don't have to answer. I'll understand if you don’t, but. What happened? Why did she give herself up? Was there another way?

 

“There was no other choice, we thought of everything possible. I would have been fine staying in the plane of existence for the rest of time. At least, that time, I wouldn't be alone. However, she… she didn't want that for us. It was never our choice, it was always here. Allura…. Allura decided that everyone but her was going to get a happy ending.”

 

Shiro sighed and looked up at Allura's statue.  _ She looks peaceful… I hope she felt that same peace at the end… _

 

Curtis put his hand on Shiro's shoulder and looked up at the statue. 

 

“Curtis, truth or dare?”

 

“We're still doing this?”

 

“It's your turn”

 

Shiro laughed a bit, and Curtis gave a tiny smile. 

 

“Okay then, truth or dare?”

 

“Truth”

 

“Do you think I'm doing Allura's legacy justice?”

 

“What do you mean, Shiro?”

 

“She worked so hard to bring down the Galra Empire so that the universe could live in stability. I go around trying to spread her message, recruiting planets, trying to convince these politicians that peace is real and attainable. I… just wonder if I'm doing it right.”

 

As Shiro spoke, he seemed to stare right into Allura's eyes. 

 

Curtis thought about how he could reply. A moment later, he spoke, “Shiro, of course you're doing it right. The fact that you are questioning proves it. All good leaders never think they are good leaders, they just want to do the right thing. And Shiro, you are doing it right.”

 

Curtis offered Shiro a smile, and Shiro returned one of his own. They held hands, and looked above Allura's statue to the stars beyond. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
